« 50 by 50 | Home | Quote of the day »
Reflections on My Opportunity
By bbrown | September 4, 2006
My eleven days being the primary caregiver is drawing to a close and it has been an incredible experience. I went into it slightly nervous about the whole endeavor because there’s three of them and only one of me—and I’m not a terribly patient person. In the end, I can say that it was both eye-opening and saddening.
Previously, I had taken care of The Girls when Sandi had a stomach flu for a few days and again when Sandi went up to a cabin for a weekend of scrapbooking. Those were fun and revelatory in their own way, but they paled in comparison to an eleven-day stretch. In that time, you really get set into a pattern and schedule in a way that you just can’t in a few days. You start to develop routines and you can get a feel for the kids’ behavior patterns.
In that regard, it gave me a newfound respect for what Sandi goes through as I fully expected it would. I did story time; I did gymnastics; and I did errands. It is much more draining than I expected: the hassle of loading and unloading three small, independent children over and over is frustrating. Madeline, when set down on returning from anywhere, just sort of dawdles and looks around the garage—completely oblivious (consciously so, I think) to your entreaties to come in the house. Annie and Kimberly bring several toys with them on every journey and they must hold on to each and every item as you try to buckle them into their car seats. Snacks, drinks, and other sundry items must be prepared in advance and distributed. I’m not trying to paint a parody of Mr. Mom or anything—each task is not terribly difficult in itself but the sum of each minor aggravation is maddening. Don’t get me wrong: it’s all worth it but it makes for an exhausting day.
I think she is the most wonderful mother I have ever encountered. The Girls, to be frank, ran roughshod over me for much of the week because, well, I’m kind of a softy when it comes to them. Was that shock I detected over the Internet? Anyhow, she runs a tight ship and she does it without yelling and tyranny. I have nothing but respect for the way she keeps house.
The toughest thing I learned from this experience is how much I miss when I go to work. I got to know each of The Girls in a way that I had never done before. I witnessed events and actions that I wouldn’t have known about if I had been at work. Sandi’s pretty good at relating the highlights but I wasn’t aware of how much detail she was omitting. I don’t fault her for it—I absolutely cannot—because frankly I can’t remember half of the vague “events and actions” I witnessed. In a way, it’s terribly sad.
I don’t want to go “Cats in the Cradle” on you, dear reader, but it’s tough to realize that they’re growing up in ways that you can’t know. I am so glad, however, that at least half of the parental unit is able to take it all in; I don’t know that I’d take it as well if I had previously schlepped The Girls to daycare providers. Can you imagine hearing of your children’s development from a stranger and then coming to know that you don’t know the half of it? I think I would go crazy after this if that were so.
Tomorrow I resume my regularly-scheduled life and Sandi will attempt to rejoin hers. I know for sure that I will be peppering her with more questions about happenings than I had before and I also know that I will evince a significantly-improved empathy for her stress. Between those two things and the opportunity to live the full Five Browns experience, this time off work has been the best time off work I’ve ever had.
Topics: Thoughts | Comments Off
Comments are closed.