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Mother’s Day emotions
By sandi | May 11, 2008
For me this day is a very emotional one. I am going to paste my last year entry because it sums up exactly how I feel. I believe every word of it and it still rings very true for me. The emotions I feel each year are as follows:
Happiness and Price: First, I want to say how proud and honored I am to have my Mother as my Mom. She is an amazing woman. She works from sun-up to sundown most days and is committed to her children. Without her perserverance the rest of this story would not be here.
Happiness and Sadness: I am filled with such happiness and excitement that I am actually here, that after all I have been through 3 lovely little children wrap their arms around my neck and call me “Mommy!” In that same moment, though, I am reminded of the children who never made it. Who were conceived out of the same love as Annie, Kimberly and Madeline and yet never were able to make it to a live birth. Oh how I miss them. Oh how I miss never knowing them, never holding them, never watching them as they grow. I thought that when I got here all that pain would disappear, oh how wrong I was. It never does, and honestly a weird part of me wants it to never leave. For many of my children this is all I have, these deep pains.
Proud: Of the woman who gave me a child when it seemed I could not bear one. She gave to me something that I can never repay her for. Something that is worth everything. To her I say Happy Mother’s Day and thank you for making me a Mother.
Happy: I had to come back to the happy because it is what surrounds me. Each day my children grow and learn a little more based on things I have taught them or experiences I have given them. They are amazing. They have made me happier than I ever thought possible.
Happy Mother’s Day to all the woman who are Mothers, all the woman who wish they were Mothers and all the women who are about to become Mothers. It is an amazing thing and something that is worth all that was sacrificed.
Here is the post if you want to read it first hand.
In addition to all those emotions today I am feeling a great deal of love for another little man who I have not met. He may still be wrapped in his birth mother’s arms enjoying her caress. Or in an orphanage being cared for by loving nannies awaiting the day he meets his forever family.
His Mother is in my heart today. I cannot imagine the emotions she is dealing with either having recently given him up for adoption or still contemplating the idea. She is a wonderfully brave woman and I cannot find words to express my emotion concerning her.
I am so blessed to be a Mother. It is the most amazing thing I have ever done, or will ever do. I am completely and wholly satisfied by it. It is not something I have to find a way to find me within, it is just a part of me. The journey to make this family whole was not an easy one but it is one that was worth everything and I would do it again in a heartbeat even knowing all the rough parts.
Topics: Thoughts | 4 Comments »
May 11th, 2008 at 10:42 am
This is a beautiful post.
May 11th, 2008 at 6:50 pm
Wow what a heart felt post!
May 11th, 2008 at 7:42 pm
Today was a great Mother’s day for me all my kids called. My Granddaughters sewed me a holder for my I Pod, Wyatt gave me a bell chime he made, Joey a sunflower he made. There was no Hallmark, diamonds, spa treatments just family and dinner. Thanks for the simple day the way its suppose to be.
Love always
MOM
May 14th, 2008 at 10:23 am
You made me cry. Sandi, your wisdom moves and teaches me.