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It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons. ~ Johann Schiller
By sandi | March 4, 2009
“Do your kids have different Fathers?” ~ people I pass by while out and about.
This is the latest and greatest of all bonehead comments that people say to me when I am out. These comments just show how ridiculous people are.
I blame the media: they make it seem like we need to know everything that everyone is doing. Do we really need to know who Jennifer Aniston is dating or where Angelina and Brad are getting their next trophy child from? I think not and I cannot understand why people are so interested in it.
So when I am asked this question I assume they are noting the fact that my son does not have the same skin color that I have. Couldn’t they just keep that fact to themselves? It is pretty much a no-brainer. We have really had to start working on our Girls to keep their comments like “wow Mom that guy is SO fat” or “Mom, that person stinks” to themselves. Weren’t these other people taught common courtesy as children? I don’t think so. 
As to the response to this question, should I explain to them that my children have three different biological fathers but just one Father. Or should I just pretend like I can’t hear them and walk right on by? Or do I just say “no” and move on?
Yep, you guessed it I say “no” and walk right on by because it isn’t their business. My children have a Father who loves them immeasurably. When I am out and these idiots ask me my kids are with me. I will not allow that stranger to put any thoughts of doubt in my children’s minds about who their Father is. Families are not made of flesh and blood, they are made of LOVE.
If they ask if my son is adopted I often respond, but only because I want people to know that adoption is an amazing blessing.
If you want a love message to be heard, it has got to be sent out. To keep a lamp burning, we have to keep putting oil in it. ~ Mother Teresa
I will continue to share the blessing of adoption with the world. It certainly has made all the difference for me. I will not tolerate people making my children feel inferior because of their lack of understand of family.
Topics: Mom's Soap Box | 4 Comments »
March 4th, 2009 at 11:29 am
See why I nominated you?!!
March 4th, 2009 at 12:09 pm
Wow!
You go girl!
Yeah glad to see you are getting back to your self again.
March 5th, 2009 at 8:57 am
I like the “no” answer. It is true that it is no ones business and Bill is their father. So, good for you for keeping your cool and giving a very simple answer.
March 6th, 2009 at 11:41 am
Good for you – “NO” is really all anyone needs to know and really, what a ridiculous and intrusive question!! What if your children had the same skin color and different hair or eye color? The question becomes A LOT less acceptable in that situation.
I forget where I originally saw this but I like to collect quotes and this one made me think of you…
Natural Child: Any child who is not artificial.
Real Parent: Any parent who is not imaginary.
Your Own Child: Any child who is not someone else’s child.
Adopted Child: A natural child, with a real parent, who is all my own.
By Rita Laws