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Grief vs. Love
By sandi | May 3, 2010
In the past couple of weeks I have come to understand the overwhelming power of grief. It is stronger than I ever imagined. Though I have been through many tough times nothing compares to the grief in this situation. There is only one emotion stronger than grief and that is love. It is love that keeps me strong. It is love that lifts me up even when I feel I can’t stand. The love my Father gave to me and the love I continue to receive from everyone around me.
The sadness I have felt over the passing of my Father has only been bearable because of the years of love we had shared. He was an amazing man. He loved like no other. He was a man of self-sacrifice and complete adoration of his wife, my Mother.
He would always make sure his family was fed before he ate a meal. He rode his bicycle to work so that I could drive the car my senior year of high school. These little things made a huge difference. As I look around I cannot imagine another father I know doing this for his daughter.
His value system was very strong. While he and I disagreed on so many political issues I respected his opinion. He was very convicted in his beliefs and he lived true to them. At Madeline’s birthday party he was standing up for his values, stating that myself and my friends were infringing on someones rights by wanting to not have a van with plastic colored tablecloths taped onto it with duck tape parked at the end of my street for weeks. We were so different. Last Memorial Day, during the parade he stood up and cheered loudly for the anti-war float.
Those hippies had things right when they said “make love not war.” While you won’t see me at an anti-war demonstration anytime soon I can appreciate the sentiment in a more personal way. I was fortunate enough to see my Father at least twice a week. We rarely ever fought and if we did in the end we agreed to be different. I have no regrets about my life with him and that makes it easier for me to move forward.
My Father was a hippie and my Mother still is. I consider myself fairly conservative, though if you ask my conservative friends they will tell you I am a free spirit. I grew up listening to John Stewart and Cat Stevens and believing that it didn’t matter what you looked like as long as you were a good person. They told me to buck the system and while I didn’t do things their ways I respected the ideas of thinking outside the box and non-violent ways of solving issues. Peace and love are the ways to live life.
When I am overwhelmed with grief I think of love and it gets me through. Thank you Dad for showing me how to love. Even when you are gone from me you are helping me.
Topics: Family News | 6 Comments »
May 3rd, 2010 at 6:38 pm
You are so much like him Sandy. Truly. His loving, generous spirit lives in you and your children and always will. I’m so glad you had so many wonderful years with him, and lived close enough that he got to spend so much time with you and his grandchildren. He had to be the happiest guy on the planet with the women he adored by his side and the family he loved surrounding him. HE was as blessed by you are you were/are by him. Never forget that.
I hope in the months and years to come the grief eases for you. I hope you see your father in your children’s eyes and realize he is always with you, watching over you, protecting and loving you as he did when you were young.
much love my friend, much love.
May 3rd, 2010 at 6:48 pm
Sandi, this is a beautiful tribute to your Dad. He lives on in you….and I know firsthand that love is what will get you through this. Wish I could hug you in person, but my cyberhug will have to do for now!
((HUGS!!))
May 3rd, 2010 at 10:16 pm
PERFECT SONG Sandi! I have heard the song a thousand times…but never heard it until now…Thank you! I agree your post is a beautiful tribute.
May 4th, 2010 at 2:22 pm
This is by far the most touching blog post I’ve ever read. Thank you for sharing your emotions with us, Sandi. I’m so sorry for your loss, but I’m so happy you had such a wonderful father.
May 4th, 2010 at 3:41 pm
I went out and bought a Cat Stevens CD today
July 15th, 2010 at 9:30 pm
[...] is nothing in the world that compares to love. Love is such a strong emotion. It gives us great hope in life and brings us great sadness in death. [...]