I was so excited when she told the adoption community that her court date was November 17, 2009. Not as excited as if she had said her date meeting her chid was that date but excited nonetheless. (She got her referral before the court closure and has waited a very long time to get to this point.)

You may not remember but November 17, 2008 was Paul’s adoption hearing in Ethiopia. It was favorable and I am praying for the same outcome for Missy and all the other families that have court tonight. Please say a prayer for these families that they will have favorable court dates and that they will be able to get speedy embassy dates to bring their babies home.

When I think back to where I was a year ago today tears well in my eyes. I couldn’t be there to know what the outcome of the court hearing was, and I ended up having to wait an additional day to find out. I re-read the posts from last year at this time the other night. It was a teary night remembering how much it hurt to not know him yet.

Hopefully it is just one more day for Missy and all the other families. Hopefully they will find out they have another child tomorrow.

Life is an amazing journey. For some reason I always felt I would adopt. Even as a young girl I dreamed of it. Adoption is one of those times in life where you really feel God moving in your life. (You can feel free to substitute God with the universe/fate or whatever floats your boat. For me it is God but I know it isn’t for everyone.) It was like that seed was planted deep inside of me and would grow when the time was right.

For me the time was right when infertility seemed like a road of no hope. Learning that no matter how hard I tried and how much I wanted to have a child that it was most likely out of my realm was hard. At that moment that seed began to sprout and grow. It insisted that we tell everyone and anyone that we were looking to adopt. That if someone heard of anyone that they would tell us. From all the pain of infertility and loss came hope in the form of Kimberly. She was the miracle we had been searching so long to find.

Years later after seven hazardous pregnancies and two scary births we found adoption once more. This time it was a son from Ethiopia. He was the one we had been waiting on to complete this family.

There isn’t a way to put into words how much of an impact adoption has on my life. It is like trying to explain how my beating heart has made my life great. My heart has made my life amazing because by beating it has allowed me to live. Adoption has made my life amazing because adoption has been in it. I am so glad that my life has been touched by this miracle.

I have some dear friends, Rick, Christi and Bella who are looking to complete their family through the adoption of a child. Each journey is so unique and for them their journey has brought them to the moment where they are looking to adopt a child domestically. On the face of it domestic adoption can seem so easy, there are so many children without homes and so many families waiting for a child, but it isn’t that easy. You have to wait until you find the perfect match. Much like dating to find the perfect spouse for yourself this too is a long process.

If you know of anyone who is looking to place their child for adoption please consider passing along their website. Help be part of their miracle of adoption.

I know many who come to this blog are adoptive* parents themselves. Celebrate the joy of the miracle of adoption in your home tonight. Whether in the form of a tickle fest or a shared bowl of ice cream. Remember to hold your miracles tightly and give them an extra squeeze from me.

*Even if you are not an adoptive parent but just a parent of an amazing child who was brought to you in a different way other than adoption please follow the above suggestion for tonight’s activities.

The only thing that changed on the 23rd was that Paul is now legally named Paul. Before that his name had legally been Teferi William. We called him Paul from the start because that was the name that we would always call him.

By the way if we had any doubts about keeping his first name Teferi they were solidified during his court hearing when they asked us twice to pronounce his name and they still misspoke it each time they said it.

I know it is confusing and I just wanted to make this post to help carrify it. The AZ birth certificate will allow him to get a SSN and to finish his application for citizenship. Someday he will be a full citizen.

It was nice to be able to extend our gratitude once again. I can only imagine how rewarding this experience was for them. These are the people who matched our family with the perfect little man.

They recognized Paul immediately and both gave him warm hugs and kisses. They wanted to know how his character had changed and how he was doing.

Paul seemed to recognize them but when they would hold him he would extend his arms and say Momma or Dada. Perhaps that was coincidence or perhaps it was him suggesting that he wants to be with us. Either way he is pretty much stuck with us for life. A situation that all of us couldn’t be happier about.

I tried to explain plot and character development to Kimberly but to no avail, she really couldn’t see why in every movie she watches that something tragic has to happen.

I cannot agree with her more. It is one of the reasons I am very careful about movies that I watch and consequently allow them to watch. There are plenty of stories that just have something tragic happen to a character so you are drawn to feel compassion for them and thus watch the movie or read the book.

People buy this sort of thing and Hollywood and publishers are there to fill the void.

Recently there has been much talk in the adoption community about the movie Orphan which came out in late July. Everyone is up in arms because the movie was first released with the tag line that included something about how you can’t love an orphan as much as your own child. Warner Brothers has since apologized and removed that and yet these people still are still offended.

My feelings on this are summed up in three parts:

The first is that it doesn’t convince or not convince anyone of the idea that adopted children/orphans are less loved. There are plenty of people who believe this without ever having heard this. People are stupid and have many saying like this, like the ever popular “blood is thicker than water.” Your friends and family, in my opinion, are made so because of your commitments to each other not a bloodline.

The second is that if someone rethinks their idea of adopting based on a movie that is obviously a thriller movie they are showing that their heart is not really open to it. Adoption is something only some people can do. Many don’t do it for millions of different reasons, all valid in their own way for them. I won’t sit her and say that because I adopted I am better than someone who didn’t, we are all different and we are all driven to parent the children we have.

The third and most obvious is the one my 5 year old picked up on. Sure the orphan is shown in the worst light ever but guess what, that is how they planned it. This is a THRILLER movie. She has to be scary! This is how they are explaining the scary. It is their creative judgement that decides that this make her scary. Great books and movies have all suggested this exact thing. My beloved Anne of Green Gables has a whole scene where the nosey neighbor, Mrs. Lynch, is convinced that Anne, the orphan, will put strychnine in the well and kill Matthew and Marilla, the caretakers of the orphan child. I don’t see anybody trying to ban that book or suggesting that it is harmful to adoption everywhere.

This whole topic makes my blood boil because, as I suggested earlier, my 5 year old gets it that bad things are just part of the plot, why can’t these other people.

I wish I could tell her how much this means to me.

I wish I could tell her how well he is doing.

I wish she knew how much we love her and think of her.

I wish she could know how well he is doing, how much he is loved.

All I know about her is that this baby meant the world to her and in that way we are exactly the same. She is on my mind today and in my heart every single day.

Several weeks back they had their shower and I made them 2 quilts. I have been waiting for them to pass court to show them to you. Here is the one I made for Ezra

And the one I made for Noah

These were the first and only quilts I will ever tie. UGH that was not fun. Although I think it made the quilt look nice and that it was perfect for this design, it made my fingers ache like crazy! So worth it though. I cannot wait to meet these little men in person in July!

If you are thinking that is a long way off then you are thinking the same thing as us. I can’t believe that the courts are moving so slowly, to think that I thought that the two month wait for Paul’s court date in Ethiopia was long.

Mark you calendars and *get ready to celebrate!

*I wouldn’t buy any wine just yet as you will most likely drink it before that date comes.

*BTW this was only rhetorical, Paul is the absolute most perfect referral ever, at least to me. I just love twins though, check out the picture below of me with my assembled twins just to see the joy in my heart.

Glad to have the first one down. We will have them petition the court to finalize Paul’s adoption in the US. Then we will have two more home visits, one at 6 months and one at 12 months. I am glad that it was so easy and I am sure the others will be just as easy.

As a parent you are always so excited when you figure out your child’s cues. As an adoptive parent of a child who is already one that takes on new meaning. Not only did we have to learn about this little man, he had to learn about us. He already knew how to put himself to sleep, but we helped him to find a better way. We let him know that he can now depend on a parent to help him when times are tough.

Paul has been living in America a whole month now. He has gained 1 pound 14 ounces since he has been home. He is rarely turning up his nose to foods unless it is jello, fruit or something cold. He is beginning to take cow milk and eat nutragrain bars. He is so ready to walk and I think the highest number of continuous steps he has taken is 11. We all adore him so much and he loves to give us kisses.

When Paul first came to the HOH he was one of the few kids there. I am sure he was given inordinate amounts of attention. Then, one by one, children arrived and he was given less and less attention. When we arrived home he adjusted well to Mommy caring for him and his sisters. He accepted them and seemed to understand that we all were a group. However, whenever I hold another child, even my 6 year old nephews Paul is not pleased. He tends to get upset when another child moves in on his caregiver. (BTW if you are an adoptive parent you understand the gravity of that statement. PAUL THINKS I AM HIS CAREGIVER!!!!!!!!! Amazing!)

Basically anytime Mikaleigh would sit on my lap he would rush over and sit down too. If I picked her up, he needed me to pick him up. Needless to say it was an exhausting day.

All in all the kids had a great time playing. Annie had another baby to bombard with her craziness and Paul enjoyed the break. The kids had a nice time playing legos and hanging out.

There is still only one bag missing. We are waiting a bit longer to see if it turns up. The good news is if it doesn’t United will claim it as lost – finally.

Several tips for families traveling someday.
1. Make sure your bags are checked all the way through. If they tell you they are still question it. Our bags were only checked through to Washington. If we had known this we would have gotten them and rechecked them. However, we were assured that they were checked through our final destination. (We asked at each destination and we were told that they were following us.)
2. Mix up your bags. Put some of everyones clothes in each bag. If we were to have gotten a bag, which we didn’t, at least we would have had a little something for everyone.
3. Buy travel insurance
4. Make sure your bags are checked all the way through. Yeah, I know I said that before but really make sure.
5. Pack underwear in your carryon. Trust me if your suitcase gets lost you will be so thankful you did this. I probably would have gone insane in not for new underwear daily.

We were scheduled to go to the orphanage yesterday but because of two children being ill and in the hospital it was rescheduled for today. I am so glad that we were able to go today. The experience is hard to write into words. The emotions felt are ones that only someone who has experienced this kind of gratitude for another human can relate to.

As we drove out of Addis into the city of Sebeta we noticed immediately the beautiful scenery. I have written before about the difference between the city and the country. The countryside looks unreal and like paintings in the distance.
People were busy around the town. People were driving cattle and goats down from the mountains so that they could be slaughtered and sold.
On foot the journey will take about a week. They were bartering with each other food goods and playing. Little huts and houses line the roads and there were actual fields where animals were, not just in the middle of the road.

When we arrived at the orphanage we were greeted by Sunite. Sunite was the director and she had just opened up her orphanage when Paul needed it, in fact he was the first child she took in. She is the woman who named him Teferi. She chose it because it is a royal name and a strong name. I found that so fitting and amazing, we had always called him our prince, and now to know that she knew it too. That he was completely meant for us, there are not words to describe this. (*insert me bawling my eyes out here.) The love she had for my son was amazing. She and I couldn’t be more different but we both cared for this little boy more than either of us could say. She asked us to forward pictures on to her as he grows which we are more than happy to do.

Of course I was a crying fool. They asked if I was happy, of course I was happy. Bill and I tried to explain that I cry whenever I am overwhelmed with any sort of heightened emotion, be it happiness, sadness, or anger. As I looked in her eyes and saw the love she had for my son I could not control myself. These people were there for my son when I could not be, that is worth more than I can say.
The compound was beautiful and the children were well loved. They had a beautiful garden for the children to play in and the Nannies were teaching the older children English when we came in. It was such a warm and gentle place.

Since we were honored guests there was a coffee ceremony for us. They had pine shavings that they sprinkled over hot coals to enhance the experience. It was wonderful and we were very thankful.

This morning before going out shopping we had a chance to see how injera is created. We were also invited to make one. It was not that difficult but mine certainly didn’t come out perfectly. It is hard to get the right speed on swirling the batter. Mine came out thicker in some places and thinner in others. I am sure with practice one would not have a hard time creating this dough.

After our shopping experience we were taken back to the HOH to experience a traditional meal. Because of the three families visiting this week having successful adoptions they celebrated with a special occasion meal. On a special occasion in Ethiopia a chicken is purchased and then slaughtered to make the meal. The women dressed in their traditional Ethiopian dress and served each of us. The meal was outstanding! I have never had better Ethiopian food, and probably never will again. Thankfully, as near as I could tell, they did not serve the injera that myself or the other mothers created.

After the lunch they had a traditional coffee ceremony. They roasted the green coffee beans and then ground them in a mortar and pestle. They cook the coffee in a clay carafe over wood charcoal. They serve the coffee with popcorn made with salt and sugar. Feeding Paul the popcorn was what helped Paul and Bill bond on that first day. It is served with cane sugar and is some of the best coffee I have ever drank.

It was so neat to see the Ethiopian community sharing this tradition with us.

We didn’t get our luggage yet so Sunday best was not the case for us as we dressed for our embassy appointment. I wore my three day old jeans and a new t-shirt from Addis while Bill wore his new khaki pants that don’t fit that well because the size of the pants was not easy to tell and a new polo shirt.

We gave Paul his first shower today. It went very well. We were afraid it might not go so well because he hasn’t taken well to new things with us. Thankfully it was nice, and we had a clean boy on our hands. I can’t wait to see how he handles bathing in the tub with his sisters.

We hung out this morning playing with the children in the orphanage and giving them suckers. They LOVED the suckers and were so sweet. It certainly made me miss the Girls more. As the days wear on I am more and more wishing the world weren’t so big and that I could be there and here at the same time. I have said it before and I will say it again, having my family on two continents has been the hardest thing I have had to endure. First Paul when we were waiting for him and now the Girls as we are here without them. We check in on them daily via phone but it is still so hard. I cry each time I hear their sweet voices and cannot wait until we are at the airport with them in my arms.

The Embassy is on the other side of town from where we are. It was a very easy appointment. They asked us a couple of questions about our case and son and then told us that the Visa would be ready in the morning. It was nice to know that it will not be delayed.

After the Embassy we took Paul back to the House of Hope so that he could spend time there while we went to the mountain view. It was a long drive back through the city but we finally got to where the country began. It was beautiful! If I lived in Addis Ababa I would definitely live in the country. So much more beautiful and the people were so hard working. There were women who climbed up the mountainside, cut down branches and pieces of wood, tied them together, and then carried them down the mountain to sell as wood for a fire. This woman is resting while the sticks are resting on that block fence behind her.

They make around 40 birr for the entire load, which takes them 2 days to do. 40 birr is equivalent to $4 USD. The loads of sticks would weigh over 100 pounds our driver estimated. I cannot imagine doing this kind of hard labor but at least it is honest work, you don’t always see that in the city.

The drive up was beautiful, there were so many trees and it was nice and cool. Looking out over the city of Addis was amazing, It was interesting how the noise of the city seemed so quiet from up on the mountain.

They had the first palace ever built in Ethiopia and a museum that we toured as well.

It was quite interesting. Because Addis has a very high elevation anyhow, and then going up on a mountain it was easy to get winded when climbing the steps.

Here is Bill and I on the balcony of the first royal family’s home.

The countryside view looked so much like a painting.

This was a very typical scene on the side of the street as we went up the mountainside. The children are playing and the they are drying the berbere spice on a blanket. You see and smell this spice all over the town. People are either drying it, grinding it or roasting it.

When we arrived back at the House of Hope Paul was excited to see us. He held out his arms for me to pick him up. This is the first time that he has shown any preference for Bill or I. He generally prefers his Nannies and Tsegay, the coordinator. All of that is understandable and I would be worried if he didn’t want them more, he has lived the past four months with them, we are the outsiders to him. It was good to see him and I was happy he felt it too.

Today we had the opportunity to go out and do some sightseeing and shopping. We took the chance and headed out to the Lion Zoo. It was a very small zoo but very interesting. Animal rights activists would go crazy if they saw the small size of the cage that a mated pair share.

However, it was so interesting and amazing. They had young and old lions on display and they were very beautiful. They also had monkeys and rabbits and birds. While we were looking at the monkeys in the cage we saw two other monkeys fooling around in the park part of the zoo.

It was so crazy to see them there. Our guide, Ephrim, said that they must live within the walls of the zoo because they are always there.

After the zoo we headed to the National Museum. They have an extensive display of evolution fossils and it was interesting to see. Of course they also have Lucy, well not actually Lucy as her actual bones are too brittle to be on display anywhere and are locked up in some air tight safe.

There were also many interesting artifacts from Ethiopian history. Many interesting things to see and since our guide, Ephrim, was born and raised in Addis Ababa he had much knowledge to share.

There were so many different artifacts, one that I was really impressed with was the use of Lion mane and skin in the soldier outfits. This was thought to give the soldier the bravery and strength of the lion.

I don’t think it was any accident that they began calling Teferi, “Anbasa.” The name Teferi mean ferocious and is associated with royalty and the name “anbasa” means lion. The lion is the Ethiopian mascot, you will find them everywhere and the icon on anything including money. We certainly will remember to tell Paul about this as he matures.

One interesting note is that neither of these places had gift shops. In the US gift shops are in every main attraction and you always have to fish through them to get out of the place. It was odd to me that there wasn’t a kiosk selling post cards or anything.

• The exchange rate was 9.986 Ethiopian Birr to 1 U.S. dollar. I cannot describe how happy I was at seeing that when we changed all of our money at the airport. I had read that the rate was 8.6 ETB and I knew that I would have zero chance of accurately appraising prices in that situation. Moving the decimal point in one place made mental conversions a breeze. Plus, I could readily astound Ethiopians with how much the American median income was, how much an average Phoenix home cost, and how much my Internet service ran.
• Being in a Third World country without any luggage is about as bad as it gets. I wore the same pair of socks the entire time. How I don’t have a raging case of athlete’s foot is beyond me. Wait, there is a worse situation: being in a Third World country without luggage while being told every single day that said luggage was on the next flight from Washington is the worst. Our trip was entirely too focused on fretting about the lack of everything, trying to reach anyone at Bole baggage claim by phone, and hoping each day that it might be our lucky one. In the end, two of our four pieces ended up back in Phoenix, one mysteriously went to Brussels, and the final one’s whereabouts are completely unknown. Happily, we paid for the travel insurance.
• There are hardly any speed limits in Addis Ababa. Speed is regulated by the omnipresence of pedestrians and the porousness of lanes. Traffic cops stand in the median and are ubiquitous, but I’m not all that sure of their purpose. Our driver said that they help out with clearing accidents—which I did see once. From the general level of driving skill I saw on display, I was surprised to not find stacks of pedestrian corpses laying in the gutter awaiting burial.
• I’m not sure why Ethiopia is such an impoverished country. The people were hard-working, the government didn’t seem onerous, and entrepreneurialism runs rampant. I asked our agency’s director and he said that it is very easy to start a business; our driver said that small businesses pay no income tax. There are serious infrastructure issues—like the pitiful nature of the roads, the lack of Internet access, and the analog nature of transactions—but there wasn’t anything tangible holding them back that I could discern. I’ll need to research this more because it shouldn’t be that way.
• There was way more Obama paraphernalia on display than I would have ever expected. Taxis had Obama posters in their back windows; Obama t-shirts were on sale everywhere; a guy going to Ethiopia had a life-size cutout of Obama stowed behind his chair on the airplane; and countless overheard snippets of conversation. I get that he’s part-Kenyan on his father’s side and that his politics are collectivistic, but it betrayed a connectedness to the world stage that I hadn’t seen much evidence of otherwise. (Except hearing a popular country song blasting from a parked taxi, that is.)

I’m dog-tired now, so that’s all you’re going to get out of me tonight.