Thoughts
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Sunday, March 13th, 2011Today would have been Elizabeth’s 8th birthday. Today is different from all the other years that have passed. This year my Father is in heaven with her. There are very few times I ever heard my Father cry, but when Elizabeth had passed he cried. She meant a lot to all of us. It hurts [...]
Survivor Dreams
Wednesday, February 16th, 2011Today starts another season of the show Survivor. I have been watching this show since the first season in 2000. I LOVE it! Since I was a little girl I have always wanted to be on the show Wheel of Fortune. I loved it when the stage spun around and they had to buy items [...]
Holding Hands
Thursday, February 10th, 2011I’ve reached the point where I know I will never be over my Father dying. People ask all the time how I am doing, or how my Mother is doing. There isn’t an answer. We are okay. Okay is as good as we can be. We function. Life moves forward and each day we do [...]
So Much Pain
Thursday, January 20th, 2011Life is full of many twists and turns. If there is one thing I have learned that is constant it is that life can, and does, change in an instant. Friday night a woman I knew fell and broke her neck. She passed away last night. Her Daughter is a very good friend of mine. [...]
Meant to Be . . .
Thursday, January 6th, 2011When you believe that things are meant to be, it means that for better or worse you think things turn out as they are supposed to. That everything in your life happens for a reason. If you lose a job it was so that you could look to find your new one, which hopefully will [...]
Wishing it wasn’t so
Monday, October 25th, 20106 months ago my Father passed away. I miss him so much. Everyday for the past 6 months I have wished this wasn’t so. Tonight as I was flying home over the clouds and into the sunset I saw the oranges and reds that my Father loved to paint with and my heart ached. The [...]
Complications of the Heart
Monday, October 11th, 2010This year for my birthday I treated myself to a full physical. Aging and growing older is something that I want to meet head-on. I can’t be caught off guard. I want to make sure that I have done everything in my power to make sure I don’t die prematurely. As many readers know my [...]
Sewing Therapy
Monday, September 20th, 2010In light of my last post it would seem easy to cut my load by simply cutting out sewing. This wouldn’t work for me. Sewing is my therapy. It is the one thing I can sit down to, plan out a project, complete it and enjoy the results. I have always struggled with being a [...]
I’m exhausted
Sunday, September 19th, 2010I am so emotionally drained, physically tired, and generally worn out. It isn’t a good way to be. There are many things on my plate, some I love and some I don’t. Some I can take off and some I can’t. This is just the way it is. I won’t go into all the details [...]
Gone too soon
Wednesday, August 25th, 2010It has been 4 months since someone has rubbed the top of my head and called me “little Sandi.” It may not seem like a lot but it means a lot to me. I miss my Dad. I miss him all the time. I want to call him or drop by and see him. I [...]
All By Ourselves
Monday, August 23rd, 2010On Saturday Bill and I escaped calmly walked out from our house and left Grammy in charge of the kids. We left and spent the time together at the Arizona Biltmore. The Biltmore is a very lovely hotel and one we had been meaning to spend some time at but never got around to. When [...]
Abundance
Thursday, August 19th, 2010One of the main drawbacks to having a huge pantry is that sometimes it get stuffed full of food. We are currently in that situation. It is also a sign that the kids have been shopping with me a lot. We have so many cereal varieties down there! The shelf above it is lined with [...]
Heartache
Saturday, August 14th, 2010Tomorrow is my Father’s birthday. He won’t be here to celebrate. It breaks my heart. Tuesday is Elizabeth’s birthday. She isn’t here. Every year this date opens that wound and makes my heart ache. “Break a vase, and the love that reassembles the fragments is stronger than that love which took its symmetry for granted [...]
A Father’s love
Thursday, July 22nd, 2010There is nothing in the world that compares to love. Love is such a strong emotion. It gives us great hope in life and brings us great sadness in death. One thing I have realized is that the relationship I had with my Father was unique. Many people have issues and strained relationships. I was [...]
Mothering
Sunday, July 4th, 2010Some days I search for meaning in my life. I am a very purpose driven person. I make goals and achieve them on a constant basis. If I am without a life plan I flounder. I need the focus and drive that I get from setting and achieving goals. Consequently Mothering has always been a [...]
Second Chances
Tuesday, June 29th, 2010In life you don’t always get second chances. I am sure that my Dad thought he would have a health scare and get a second chance. He didn’t. You don’t always get a second chance. Make sure you really live every single day of your life and don’t count on a second chance to really [...]
Bittersweet
Tuesday, June 15th, 2010Every single day there is a bittersweet moment. A moment that is perfect and wonderful and yet hard. Tonight I went shopping at the mall with the kids and my Mother. We had a delightful time. We ate dinner, walked around window shopping, trying on clothes and purchasing some stuff. We had simple and pure [...]
I’m not as strong as you think
Thursday, June 10th, 2010A huge part of me is grieving. I have lost so many things recently. First and foremost I have lost my Father. Not a day goes by that I don’t shed a tear over this. Not a moment goes by that I don’t wish he wasn’t still here. My life is never going to be [...]
Waiting on a facelift
Tuesday, June 8th, 2010If you are like me you may go nuts if you see this lovely tan background anymore. The adorable family picture, taken 2 days after Paul was home, is so far out of date it makes me batty. Fear not, a redesign is in the works!!!!! I am so excited! I have a nice and [...]
Loss
Wednesday, April 28th, 2010I am at a loss. I have lost my Father. He passed away peacefully at 9:15 am on April 27, 2010. Though he is in heaven and I will meet him again, I have lost his daily presence in my life. I have lost my innocence. While it seems crazy that I am 35 and [...]
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